Imperfectly Perfect :)

Prologue :

The door opened; Eyes stared at each other; Silence spoke.

Years of memories pounding at the gates.

The glass lost its grip from his hand; A sharp noise in that hollow room.

He felt his heart beating again but they weren’t the normal lub-dubs.

He was experiencing the bliss of a panic attack! (again).

There she was, standing in that very same white-n-black dress he’d gift her on her graduation.

She came forward to hold this lifeless mannequin, this kind of a life-form who has been surviving for this long without his heart. “From today, my heart is yours !”- he once said.

They embraced each other and she smiled. It had been years since she felt his skin, his heartbeat. Tears of happiness filled the void in the room. Until after coming back to his senses, she realized it wasn’t mutual. She was reciprocated with an unwilling push, quite a harsh one which made her to stumble upon the carpet and fall down with tears still in her eyes, but happiness wasn’t the cause anymore.

“What happened to you?”-she asked with an expression wanting for unanswered answers.

“I wish I could remember anymore.”

Bam!! The door shut and along with this his world of agony, shut to the world and shut to her.

And there he went off. The sound of the V8 engine of his Pontiac 1969 Cadillac didn’t sound so powerful anymore. He even forgot to put on his glasses, the dark shades which have been clinging to him for quite a few years now. He just drove off. His vision was getting blurred. He choked. Drops of tears rolled down his eyes. Echoes of emotions started hurting his eardrums and threw him into a flashback.

He never expected to do what he did a few moments ago. But it wasn’t completely his blame to take. It takes very few significant moments to change your lifestyle. But it takes a lifetime to reverse the same. He wasn’t what he was today. He never wore dark shades. He never owned a multi-billionaire company. He never saw a villa, but now he owned one. And he definitely never wore formals.

You come to this world and with each and every minute you spend, you spend it getting slowly dependent on someone or something which directs you through your life and gives you hope. He had that someone who meant everything in his life. She was his ‘tomorrowland’. And guess she did feel the same.

Destiny Defies Us

We are at our hangout. Its still 9 a.m. and I know you are hungry. I know, I always have known. You are sitting right in front of me.  You are looking different today. Ohh, the makeup is on.  And you are in white today. Why white? You know that’s my color right there. You are just breaking ground rule number 5. We ordered our usual. The waitress smiled at us. One unusual thing of love is you can’t hide it from the crowd but the one you love.  Now you are staring at me. Come on, that’s unfair. You just shut your door on the most important rule of our truce. “No eye contact.” But you always break the rules. You love to. Your eyes have this relaxing effect on me. And that’s against the deal. You are not allowed to entice me, torture me with your “Please talk to me” looks. You are looking way more beautiful today ! Continue reading “Destiny Defies Us”

I Guess the Gods have a Plan.

I guess the gods have a plan.

The road was narrow ,

The woods were dark.

Shackles to my soul,

I was ready to embark;

My destiny on the very first tree,

And hence there  came the fork,

Far, far away, myths were all I could see.

I guess the gods have a plan,

The road was same as usual,

Getting narrower inch by inch,

As with every step I took,

Until I saw a bench,

In that very polished dark woods.

I guess the gods have a plan,

As the bench wasn’t vacant,

I saw a face,the face describing”pleasant”.

She saw me & I saw her,

And something stirred me.

So softly,

So gracefully,

And yet sharp as a needle.

I think I had a vision of my path.

That very path imprinting my past

And carving my future.

I guess the gods indeed have a plan.

There she was sitting, doing nothing!

And here I was in a turmoil of preciously Nothing.

That one moment of Us

And I knew that fork was the last.

So here is my story,

I’m a fellow traveller finding my way through the woods.

Following my trail, in my quest of finding the holy grail.

Suddenly I see her sitting at that very bench.

And I feel this emotional trance,

As if the thirst of my destiny has been quenched.

She was my last stop and my first one too,

Hence my journey never ends,

I guess the gods indeed had a plan. 

The Lost Love Under the Wintersun

The sky was blue and my visions bluer,

The moments were flashing like the groovy lights on a Christmas tree.

This one time you were just beside me as if my wish getting truer,

         But reality is such a fine word, I had the lock but it snatched my key.        095-The-Long-Walk-q75-500x375

It was a cold day under the wintersun ;

Being retrospective enough I felt again how it felt to be with you;

I caught glimpses of our last long walk on a Friday night until it all begun;

For one more time I saw you storming away past the gates until reality blocked my view.

I just think of us sometimes and then think again,

“Was I less than a better man for loving you? Was I wrong?  ”.

You know it’s not the music that walks down the memory lane,

It’s the lyrics of a sweet melancholy, the heart of every song.

I don’t know anymore if I live in present, leave alone my long left past;

Today when I take our long walk, I walk along with a shadow you did cast.

Who Am I ?

I am sitting in front of my laptop and thinking … what to do with my life! Was pursuing engineering the right decision for me? Was my university the right call. Who am I? Whenever someone asks me this question, it still stirs me. I think. I think harder. At this point I even remember what was in my history syllabus in secondary school and I suck at history. I just cant answer who I am. This sometimes offends me. After so many years of nurturing, I still cant recognize myself.

But what if its meant to be?  History couldn’t have make a mark in everyone’s life if we knew how its going to be in the end. Our life is like a diary and its pages are being filled as I speak. You are not supposed to know who you are going to be tomorrow. I am not saying that we shouldn’t have ambitions. But what if tomorrow our ambitions change? Today I want to be a writer. Tomorrow I can want to be a “chef”. People change. Society can change. The world is always changing. So ambitions ought to change. At the end of the day you should always do what you like, not what society wants.  

Identity is a disguise
                   Identity is a disguise

So Who Am I? I think I am that person whom you see everyday around you. At your work; At your leisure; At your gym; At your Sunday class; At your home. I am that person who always search for  reasons to hold onto this sweet life. Everyday we make sacrifices. We keep on searching our true identity. Some do this by adding titles on their cards and many others do this by stockpiling token of appreciation in their abodes. But do we really care?  Do we really understand the meaning of life? Of having a meaningful one?  So now if I ask you “Who Are You?” …. “Can you enlighten me?”      

Why did you miss the class?

She’s late. Ohh my,.. she’s late again. Already 15 minutes have passed. Sir is on the 2nd page and me on my first line and she’s still not here. My pen refused to write anymore .”Today I gotta tell her”. After we all came out… I started hurrying towards my hostel when suddenly I saw her at a distance. She was sitting under a shade with a book. I went up to her and asked her panting, “What happened today? You weren’t there? “.

“No… I wasn’t there.”
“Why ? “… still trying to catch up my breath.
“Because I didn’t want to ! I am in the middle of the climax of my storybook right now. A class can wait.”

“Ohh… Ok.”

Little did she know that she was my storybook and today I missed out my climax.